They grew up in Middle Tennessee, Lincoln County; Dad on the Massey Farm in Kelso...Mom grew up in town - Fayetteville. They went to the same high school. Dad played football, Mom was a homecoming queen and cheerleader. Classic American Apple Pie stuff. The first four years of their marriage, they lived in Knoxville where Dad got his undergraduate degree at UT. Mom worked on campus. By all accounts, they had a blast.
I wasn't born until 1964, so they had been married a while before starting a family. That said, I have had a front row seat to most of their marriage and can attest to the fact that they have it right.
Commitment - duh, right? 54 years! They have supported each other in many endeavors. My Dad's 21 year career in the Army - numerous moves. My Mom's sweat shirt business, that paid the bills while they transitioned from life in the military to life as civilians. They had 2 kids in college! None of us borrowed a penny to get our undergraduate degrees. Pretty impressive. I have 2 college kids myself now so NOW I get it. It sounds corny, but even as a little girl, I remember thinking about how much they depended on each other - both far from their families. George and Faye were a united front and both rock solid for me, my sister and brother.
Conflict. If you live with someone for 54 years, they are bound to get on your nerves. My parents didn't fight a lot, but ENOUGH. My Dad can blow up at tools, lawnmovers, cars, the last known location of his glasses, the newspaper, Mom's organization of the kitchen drawers, who has the keys to the house, who has the tickets to whatever event they are going to, what time family vacations begin....you get the picture. His bark is much worse than his bite - not that I plan to test my theory. Mom would listen to him and softly, in her quiet southern accent say, "You can kiss my ass, George Massey". More often than not, this would amuse him more than make him mad. You don't even want to see Mom get mad - I think I have avoided it since my teens. My point remains. They showed us that conflict is part of long term relationships. You can fight and stay together. You can agree to disagree.
Courage. My Dad served 2 tours of duty in Vietnam. I was too young to remember the first tour, but I was in second grade the second time he went. Dad sent letters at regular intervals to us. My Mom made scrap books of these and saved them for us - I still have them as well as the letters my second grade self sent to him. Mom never let on how hard it must have been for her with 3 little kids while he was gone. It was different than today (not to discount what troops and their families go thru in the present) - no internet, no cell phones. Lil G (as my kids call Mom - it's her gangster name, short for Little Granny) was a Rock. Dad did his duty, but Mom served as well. Courage - yeah, they've got it.
Attraction. Okay, I am going to go here....but the PG-13 version. My parents have never made any bones about being attracted to each other. Even though Mom only admits to having had sex 3 times (all 3 times resulting in a child), I can remember them always being into each other. My Dad has always bought Mom sexy underwear for her birthday and Christmas and given it to her in front of the WHOLE family. I have to say, she has some sexy stuff. One year, Mom got Dad some silky boxers as pay back for all the years of embarrassing moments. He did not mind at all. Countless times, I have caught my folks in an embrace, flirting with each other when they did not know I was watching.
Autonomy. Mom and Dad do tons of stuff together, but they do stuff on their own as well. Dad golfs and tinkers, Mom plays bridge, quilts, and sews. They work on projects together. Obviously, they have had many years to work out the kinks, but again it has been a good example for us. Most recently, both at 72, they built a deck at their new house together.
54 years. And, as Mom told a friend of mine at dinner one night, they still like each other. They have 3 kids...me, Suzanne, and George as well as 3 in-laws....Mike, Doug and Monica. They have 6 grandkids...Damek, 22, Sadie, 19, Simone, 15, Libby, 12, Haley, 9, and Max, 4.
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. Your family adores you. Keep up the good work.
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