Old Farts

The past month has been a pretty stressful time for Mike and me. His bum heart has taken us on yet another adventure - 4 weeks ago we had literally never heard of the technology that is now assisting his heart - keeping the rhythm normal' by sending electrical impulses to his heart hopefully helping his enlarged heart muscle work more efficiently. Astounding miraculous stuff! If his heart goes into atrial fibrillation, this tiny computer will shock him and keep him from 'sudden cardiac death'. Now, I think you all can agree - it has been a sobering time at the Massey Horner household. So far, no shocks! The good news is nothing else is wrong with him! (Medically speaking, anyway.)

So, right smack in the middle of our 49th birthdays - I am a month older than Mike - we venture into a whole realm of old people crap. Overnight, Mike went from taking one prescription for the past 10 years to having 5 daily meds. The simple schedule is daunting. I am the manager of the meds. Promptly, we invested in the swankiest pill cutter we could find as well as a weekly pill container with AM and PM slots. So, NOW, several times a day, I have the pleasure of gently reminding Mike to take the medicine of the moment. This morning's response from Mike was...."I do what I want, woman"....Make no mistake, he took his pill.

We have been advised to watch his sodium intake as well. AND Mike already thought I was a major buzz kill about his diet! We actually went to Fellini Kroger together and read labels while we shopped. OMG! Sodium! Now luckily, we eat a fairly low sodium diet - but we are on the look out, sodium, so watch your back. WARNING to all our friends - it will likely not be fun to eat out with us at all ever again.

The other item we are about to invest in is an adjustable bed  You know, the ones like hospital beds that lift your head or feet or both. We had been heading this direction for 49 years, but we have arrived. We are fast  becoming OLD FARTS.

We have a lot of new vocabulary to master, new technology to embrace and thankfully each other. I told Mike the other night that growing old suddenly feels like a privilege, and frankly, one I plan NOT to take for granted.

So next time you start to complain about old people, PAUSE, and remember not everyone gets to be one.
Be nice to someone older than you. If you are lucky, you too will be old some day.

Center of the Universe

I would really like to a funny blog about the mundane day to day challenges that all of my real life friends can  read and relate to but I got nothing right now. Mike is having a big heart procedure on Thursday and I am confident that we will get the best possible result....but it is still happening to the center of my universe and I am only human.

I have to give Mike kudos though....we met with the cardiologist last Friday, and after listening to the details of our worst scenarios and best options (of which there is only one), we walked to the car and drove straight to Pilot....for corn dogs and a 44 ounce coke....then on the chaperone the Eco Club Dance at the middle school.....BUSINESS AS USUAL. Mike built a very popular can crusher that the kids love to use to flatten the aluminum.

I am struck tonight as Mike is dozing with Judge Judy on the television by my complete dependence on others and my total exposure here. I am having to put my faith in complete strangers Thursday morning and I have to do it with some reasonable level of composure. I have faith in divine intervention.The marriage of miracle and science has already given me 10 extra years with Mike. I want more.

I would like to shout out to all my family, friends and acquaintances - send us some love. Mike is a tough guy and has faced down some scary shit before. I would personally like to appeal to the powers that be to give Mike more time to annoy me, more time to see what Damek, Sadie, and Simone become, more time to finish painting the fucking house....you know, more time.